Cultivating wholeness
The Christian scriptures tell us that we are image-bearers of God, each one of us formed with and for divine purpose. This purpose is our telos, or goal. And in reaching this telos, we become teleios, or whole.
The path to wholeness is slow and steady and requires both attention and patience, much like a gardener gives to her plants. It is not something we stumble onto accidentally. In fact, it can be quite elusive as we face and respond to the often unexpected circumstances of life. Wholeness is something that grows, often as a result of these challenges, as we learn to attune ourselves to the movements and invitations of God and cultivate interior freedom that allows us to respond wholeheartedly to God’s presence and leading.
Spiritual formation is a pursuit of wholeness. Of living into our divine purpose. Of tending what is wounded. Of healing what has been broken. Of setting free what has been held captive. This happens as we learn to live more fully into the love and grace of God.
Spiritual formation sees our faith first and foremost as a relationship with the living God. Wholeness comes as we abide in God, letting him speak words of truth to our sin and brokenness, our shame and guilt, our fear and failure, and even our success and triumph. All are found fully and finally in God.
WELCOME
I am a trained spiritual director and a member of the ESDA. I live in San Francisco with my husband, three teenagers, cat, snake (not mine), and way too many houseplants. I am a contemplative at heart. I love long walks in nature, especially redwood forests, and I love collecting things on my walks. A pinecone, a rock, a seashell. My house is full of these tokens of the journey and each tell their own story. I delight in being with people and bearing witness to their journeys into and through relationship with the living God. Each of our lives is beautiful and marvelous to behold!
“The way of Jesus cannot be imposed or mapped — it requires an active participation in following Jesus as he leads us through sometimes strange and unfamiliar territory, in circumstances that become clear only in the hesitations and questionings, in the pauses and reflections where we engage in prayerful conversation with one another and with him.”
― Eugene H. Peterson
WORK WITH melissa
spiritual direction
Spiritual direction is first and foremost a ministry of listening and attending. The spiritual director provides a hospitable space for your story to unfold, listening for the God-threads that are being woven throughout your story and helping you attune yourself to God’s presence and guidance.
Ignatian direction
The Ignatian Exercises are designed to engage the intellect, emotions, memory, will, and imagination as you progress through four weeks, or movements, each designed to help you grow in interior freedom so you can respond more openly and generously to God’s call in your life.
retreat Facilitation
A rhythm of regular retreat is essential to a fully flourishing life. Stepping away from the hustle and bustle, retreat offers us the opportunity to listen, ask questions, rekindle wonder, and cultivate delight that we then bring back with us into our regular lives.
Spiritual Direction
“To listen another’s soul into a condition of disclosure and discovery may be almost the greatest service that any human being ever performs for another.”
— Douglas Steere
Rather than lone-rangering our way through life in a spirit of fierce independence, most of us at some point realize the value of a guided life.
Examples of guides are counselors, coaches, mentors, pastors, therapists, and teachers. A spiritual director is also a type of guide, similar to some of those listed above but unique in a few key ways.
Spiritual direction is first and foremost a ministry of listening and attending. When we meet together we are always, explicitly or implicitly, asking two questions: What is God doing in my life right now and how am I responding?
The stuff of life, big and small, is the content that the directee brings into a spiritual direction meeting. The spiritual director provides a hospitable space for that story to unfold, listening for the God-threads that are being woven throughout your story, and helping you attune yourself to God’s presence and guidance.
We all form ways of being to help us cope with the realities of life. Some we inherit from our upbringing; some from our culture. Some are known while others lurk beneath the surface. Some protect and sustain us while others actually do us harm. Some are expansive and life-giving while others are constraining and isolating. Some become ruts, helpful in getting us through the day, but unable to support a full, free, and flourishing life.
Uncovering our ways of being and addressing our truest and deepest longings is at the heart of a spiritual direction relationship. As you learn to listen to yourself and to God with the help of the Spirit, you will gain insight and the discernment needed to live more fully into the life that Christ has called you to, breaking free of patterns that have constrained you and cultivating ways of thinking and relating that lead to greater freedom to respond to God’s invitations to you.
Ignatian Direction
“He who goes about to reform the world must begin with himself, or he loses his labor.”
—Saint Ignatius of Loyola
This 9-month engagement, called “a retreat in daily life,” is based on the Spiritual Exercises developed by Saint Ignatius of Loyola in the 16th century and adapted for modern life. It runs from September through May and involves a weekly plan of prayer and Scripture meditation along with a weekly direction meeting to reflect on and notice how God is moving and working in you.
The Exercises are designed to engage the intellect, emotions, memory, will, and imagination as you progress through four weeks, or movements, each designed to help you grow in interior freedom so you can respond more openly and generously to God’s call in your life.
These 4 movements are:
Week 1—Experiencing the Boundless Mercy of God
Week 2—Accompanying Jesus Christ on Mission
Week 3—Being with Jesus in His Suffering
Week 4—Experiencing the Joy of the Risen Lord
If you are new to spiritual direction, Ignatian direction is an excellent entry-point into learning to listen and respond to God.
I begin Ignatian direction in the Exercises annually at the beginning of September.
“We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence…The more we receive in silent prayer, the more we can give in our active life. We need silence to be able to touch souls.”
— Mother Teresa
retreat facilitation
A rhythm of regular retreat is essential to a fully flourishing life. These times, whether alone or with others, allow us to step away from the hustle and bustle and the daily demands to take stock of our lives. Retreat offers us the opportunity to listen, ask questions, rekindle wonder, and cultivate delight that we then bring back with us into our regular lives. Retreats don’t need to be long or far away, just regular and intentional.
Richard Foster says in his book Celebration of Discipline, “Like Jesus, we must go away from people so that we can be truly present when we are with people.” Engaging on a retreat of silence and solitude might feel intimidating, or you may not be sure how to structure your time. I can work with you to develop an individualized plan for your retreat based on the specific needs in your season of life.
Retreat can also be done with others. Bringing people together for spiritual formation is a unique and delightful privilege. I plan and host an annual reflective retreat through Tillage. I also put together customized half-day and overnight retreats for groups of any size. If you have a group you’d like to organize a retreat for, I will work with you to develop and/or run a personalized retreat.
individual silent retreat
Personalized 1-day or overnight retreat plan
Pre-retreat spiritual direction session to help focus and personalize your plan
Personalized plan for your 1-day or overnight retreat
Post-retreat spiritual direction session to help your process your time away
group retreat Facilitation
Pricing determined by size of the group and length of the retreat
Pre-retreat consultation to help focus and personalize the retreat for your group
On-site facilitation during the retreat
Post-retreat spiritual direction session to help you continue to care for your group after the retreat
Other offerings
Group spiritual direction
Group Spiritual Direction brings people together for the purpose of attending to our spiritual growth. In group direction, we cultivate the skills of listening, attending, offering, and responding in a gracious and safe environment focused on helping us notice and make sense of what’s going on in our lives. Group direction typically extends over 6-8 sessions. If you have a small group of people, I would love to organize and lead a group spiritual direction series.
spiritual self-care
I host and lead a Spiritual Self-Care Mini Course upon request. This course covers the basics of spiritual formation and offers practices that build a foundation for growth. It typically meets once a month for four months. I would love to organize and lead this mini-course for your small group.
Tillage
Tillage exists to cultivate connection and imagination through intentional communities across San Francisco. I cofounded Tillage with my husband, Jamin, out of a deep longing to invite others into a way of being and relating that leads to flourishing. Read more about Tillage
tillage gatherings
Melissa plans, organizes, and curates small intentional events through Tillage Gatherings.
Dogs & Doxology
Melissa writes occasionally and thoughtfully on Dogs & Doxology, hosted by Tillage.